I finished reading The Female Brain yesterday, less than 24 hours after starting it. It is an excellent and very well written book, with a style that is very easy to read. I also found myself chuckling in many places. The book is very matter of fact in describing the neurological and chemical differences in the female brain compared to males, but also across her lifetime. For example it describes the chemical and structural differences in the foetal brain from 8 weeks, and the difference those make, the effects of the floods of hormones that affect women through most of their lives: as toddlers, puberty, premenopause, menopause and the efftects of loss of hormones after the menopause.
I found this book to be informative in understanding why women’s behaviour is the way it is, and why men don’t get it! I also found it an eye-opening guide to what I can expect at different points in my own life, and how children can be expected to be different during growing up as boys and girls.
I’d recommend this book to any one who wants to understand themselves, their partners, their daughters and even their mothers!

Ok, this is the question I’ve been avoiding answering from my ‘Best Year Yet’ set. This is the hard one, the contract that makes the difference between keeping the goals and taking them seriously, and well, not. So for each goal, how am I going to make sure I achieve them? As I look at my goals again I notice that some are rather easier than others. Some of these actually make me uncomfortable thinking about how to answer the question. I guess thats telling me something, although I’m not really sure what!

1. (partner role) Be more decisive and open about my wishes – this is a hard one. The reason I don’t appear decisive and may not be open about my wishes is because of my ‘limiting behaviour’ of putting other people’s thoughts and wishes before my own. This is deeply ingrained behaviour, not deliberate. So difficult to overcome. I guess the answer to how will I achieve this is to think about what I want in any given circumstance and state it up front.
2. (partner role) Plan and agree major events – this is similar to goal number 1. But I’m getting better at being brave and saying ‘this is what I want to do and when’. Hmm, I’ll draw up a timeline, you know like one of those product roadmaps they stick on powerpoints for customers
3. (homemaker role) Plan and implement projects: external paintwork, garden, office/bedroom – ok, Google docs here we come. Again, I’ll create a timeline and list of tasks. Maybe I can take an agile, iterative approach and use RTC to keep a track. Not sure I’m taking myself seriously now..
4. (student role) Decide on a list of topics to research and create presentations/articles/blog posts etc. – I’ve got a list of these that needs making. So I’ll create that list, and start doing something about it. Again, create a timeline..
5. (student role) Develop a plan for learn-term self development relevant to my work and career progression. – started this. Create a band 9 case, and then talk with various mentors/managers etc and get some guidance, and so related research based on the ideas that come out of the process
6. (photographer role) Plan at least 6 projects, including one for submission for LRPS – create a list of ideas for projects, and a timeline. Go do it. Start with some lego macros to get the ball rolling..
7. (self coach role) Spend 30 minutes on the exercise bike at least 4 times a week – OK, do this Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday
8. (self coach role) Plan a routine and stick to it – I think I might change this goal to ‘get more organised’ which is what it is really about. Create the plans I’ve commited to in the list, and create the role/time timetable in from the book 
9. (leader/teacher role)Take one day out a week to work on these areas, and develop my skills and expertise – add this to the timetable, block out time in my calendar – probably block out Friday, as this is the ‘quietest’ day
10. (writer role) Stand up for myself at work, and ask to have my writing role reduced so I can focus on my ‘actual job – already had discussion in general. Next is to discuss with my team leader.

That doesn’t seem so bad after all.

I was sent a link to a career quiz about ‘motivators’ yesterday. Although I’m a little dubious about the test, I did find the results interesting, and they did spark some thinking. The test says:

This test is designed to effectively measure your various sources of motivation, focusing on your professional goals and desires. Knowing your motivation allows you to choose the right career, develop your career in the proper way, and even motivate yourself to do the tasks you dislike.

Whether money, adventure, or the respect of others is your ultimate goal, your drive for success is fueled by a number of factors. This test will help you discover what your individual motivators are, helping you learn which roads to take to achieve ultimate success.

I answered the test fairly and got the following results:

• Least motivation => Stability
• Motivator => intellectualism

The quiz doesn’t provide an analysis of the results, but says the following about each:

• Stability – How infrequently do you want to change jobs?
• Intellectualism – Are you able to work on repetitive tasks?

So what I interpret from those results is that I get bored easily, and don’t stay in a job for the sake of ties. Both of which are very true. I hate boring, tedious, repetitive tasks. And I don’t like staying in a job once the point is reached where I’ve stopped learning anything. 

What’s interesting about this, is that I may have been neglecting an important factor in my thinking about work. My assumption when taking this test is that my results would say I was motivated by Respect, Self-development or Recognition. Actually, doing something I find interesting may be even more important than my deep rooted ‘achievement’ needs.

Interesting indeed… and encouraging actually! Although I think getting bored is a thing I need to watch out for as I do know it leads to lack of motivation..

It strikes me that the Best Year Yet is a bit like doing an IDP for your whole life, and probably the main problem with IDPs is actually filling in the bits that says ‘how am I going to do this?’. This is the last question of the Best Year Yet book – how am I going to achieve the goals I’ve set? 

This is probably the most important question, and like with the IDP, if you don’t answer that question, you’re never actually going to get around to the stuff you said you needed or wanted to do.. OK, so I need to answer the last question. And on that subject, I really need to take a look at putting together a Band 9 case!

Hmm, I keep switching between which role I think is important. Homemaker has the benefit of getting me to sort out my home environment and ‘achieve’ something outside of work. However, I can’t help thinking that self-coach is the more important one. It’s hard to set and carry out goals whilst still being very much influenced by the limiting paradigms, and I wonder whether I should try and tackle those as a priority. I think there’s some circular arguments in there..

Guidelines for myself

• Don’t worry about everything!
• Work on one thing at a time
• Have fun!

New Paradigm

I have much to offer, and I am able to make time to do the things I want

Major Focus

Homemaker

My Top Ten Goals

1. Be more decisive and open about my wishes
2. Plan and agree major events
3. Plan and implement projects: external paintwork, garden, office/bedroom
4. Decide on a list of topics to research and create presentations/articles/blog posts etc. 
5. Develop a plan for learn-term self development relevant to my work and career progression. 
6. Plan at least 6 projects, including one for submission for LRPS 
7. Spend 30 minutes on the exercise bike at least 4 times a week
8. Plan a routine and stick to it
9. Take one day out a week to work on these areas, and develop my skills and expertise
10. Stand up for myself at work, and ask to have my writing role reduced so I can focus on my ‘actual job

Life goals -> 5 year goals -> year goals 

1. Partner -> raise a happy, contented, stable family -> get married, start a family
2. Homemaker -> Emigrate -> buy a larger house -> make better use of current space 
3. Student -> Do a PhD -> start study on degree/masters related to work -> plan what/how to study
4. Photographer -> FRPS -> ARPS -> LRPS
5. Self coach -> Be confident -> overcome limiting paradigms -> build a routine, planning
6. Leader / Consultant -> Become a DE -> Recognition across company -> develop expertise and gain visibility
7. Teacher -> Write a book -> research an area -> develop expertise
8. Writer -> Be recognized expert in field -> Recognition across company -> Focus on IA not writing

Goals for each role:

1. Be more decisive and open about my wishes, plan and agree major events
2. Organize finances better, open a new current account. Plan and implement projects: external paintwork, garden, office/bedroom
3. Decide on a list of topics to research and create presentations/articles/blog posts etc. develop a plan for learn-term self development relevant to my work and career progression. 
4. Plan at least 6 projects, including one for submission for LRPS 
5. Spend 30 minutes on the exercise bike at least 4 times a week, plan a routine and stick to it
6. Take one day out a week to work on these areas, and develop my skills and expertise
7. See 3
8. Stand up for myself at work, and ask to have my writing role reduced so I can focus on my ‘actual job’

Scores for how am I doing in each role out of 10:

1. Partner  –> 8
2. Homemaker  –> 5
3. Student  –> 3
4. Photographer  –> 5
5. Self coach  –> 4
6. Leader / Consultant  –> 7
7. Teacher  –> 6
8. Writer  –> 8

Role for major focus for the next year:

Homemaker

‘Current’ roles

1. Partner
2. Homemaker
3. Student
4. Photographer
5. Self coach
6. Leader / Consultant
7. Teacher
8. Writer

Linking roles and personal values:

1. Partner –> Integrity, Honesty, Stability, Happiness, Peace, Respect, Loving/Caring, Supportive
2. Homemaker –> Stability, Happiness, Peace, Self-expression/creativity
3. Student  –> Making a difference, sense of accomplishment, Self-expression/creativity
4. Photographer –> sense of accomplishment, Self-expression/creativity
5. Self coach –> Integrity, Honesty, Supportive
6. Leader / Consultant –>Integrity, Honesty, Supportive, Making a difference, sense of accomplishment
7. Teacher –> Making a difference, sense of accomplishment, Supportive, Teaching, Self-expression/creativity
8. Writer –> Making a difference, sense of accomplishment, Supportive, Teaching, Self-expression/creativity

How do you intend to play each role?

1. As a partner, I want to be more sensitive, but also more decisive and open about my wishes
2. As a homemaker, I want to be more organized and to successfully plan and implement projects to improve and maintain my house
3. As a student, I want to spend more time reading and investigating subjects of interest, and to develop a plan for learn-term self development relevant to my work and career progression
4. As a photographer, I want to spend more time this year, and to successfully plan and implement photographer projects (and go for the LRPS this year)
5. As a self coach, I want to be better organized, and help myself to develop am organized routine
6. As a leader/consultant, I want to spend more times on these areas of my work, and to develop my skills and expertise
7. As a teacher, I want to spend more time learning myself and developing presentations for people on subjects which are both interesting and useful to my audience
8. As a writer, I want to stand up for myself at work, and spend less time doing the dross, and more time adding value through my other roles